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Khao pad khai (chicken fried rice) is such a simple dish that its appearance seems incongruous on a restaurant menu. Nevertheless, it's there for the asking in every Thai restaurant in the world. It can be tasted at its best in the rough and ready street corner food halls of Thailand, cooked quickly in a smoking wok, delicious and clean-tasting, a staple of the local diet. Here in England though, something goes badly wrong and I have yet to eat one half as good. Ruan Orchid's version may be the worst. It has been consistently poor over the course of a decade.
The chicken, prawn, pineapple and cashew dish that my wife was served on our most recent visit has been quite the opposite. She has ordered it four times over the years and each time the result has been quite different. Last week's was the worst - a brown, congealing mess that killed her appetite with a terrible finality.
Consistency has always been a problem for Britain's Thai restaurants. Most are British owned, with Thai staff employed for short stints – our immigration and labour laws make it almost impossible to recruit suitable personnel for any worthwhile period. How can these restaurants hope to raise or even maintain their standards? The proprietor must show an extraordinary attention to detail, micro-manage his establishment. And this, unfortunately, requires levels of energy and concentration that few can muster.
The restaurant consists of two floors, where a homely orientalism – exotic plastic flora, hardwood panels and framed batiks - has been grafted onto ancient Cheshire red-sandstone solidity. It needs a facelift. The carpets are so bad that only someone who looks at them every day could fail to notice, or care. The upper floor is non-smoking, though nobody is asked which they would prefer.
Service is willing, in the Thai manner, but amateurish. The table booking system is a shambolic lottery. The toilets are like an aeroplane's, in terms of size if not excitement. The place is popular - there is no competition - but for how long? One feels that it is being deliberately run into the ground.
The prawn toast is rather good. The Georges DuBoeuf house wines are, too. Mekhong whisky is available but, at the same price as Scotch, will not get many takers.
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